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How I Gained The Confidence To Start Living My Dream Life

I've discovered that a major problem many women face today, is the lack of confidence in their goals and dreams. In my journey, I've come across many hurdles and barriers that I've had to overcome, you can read more about that in this interview. Whilst there were times that I doubted and felt unsure about when my life would come together in the way that I envisioned, I still had unwavering faith about achieving my end goal. Even today, I continue to work on improving my confidence in all areas of my life. Today I want to share with you, how you too can develop the confidence to start living your dream life!


Confidence is about loving yourself and knowing your self worth...

Confidence is about loving yourself, having high self esteem and knowing your self worth. It's also important to know the difference between being confident and being arrogant. By having confidence you are able to set boundaries and walk away from any situation that doesn't meet your needs.

By creating boundaries you are able to strengthen your ability to communicate...

Creating boundaries can be difficult to do when it concerns a deeply personal relationship however, I've found that lack of boundaries creates anxiety and chaos. It's important to remind yourself that any anxiety caused by failure to uphold boundaries can be detrimental to you, and your sense of self worth.

Healthy boundaries ultimately boils down to communication; communicating both what it is that you want and how you want it.

Confidence is like a muscle that you must become intentional about building...

I've done a lot of inner work to become as confident as I am today, but despite that I do still have off days. To strengthen my confidence "muscle", I become intentional about self-coaching and remind myself of what I'm capable of achieving. A great example of this is through intense exercise, where I'm able to overcome limits and I relate these results to other areas of my life.

Confidence isn't built overnight, it's built through experiences...

I wasn't always as confident as I am now. Confidence can't be built overnight, confidence is built through experiences. As a child I was very shy and lacking in confidence. Through my work and the public speaking involved, I've been forced to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

If you want to improve your confidence and self-esteem you need to get comfortable with asking for help. With my public speaking, I have coaches that guide me through techniques that I've been able to use in building confidence in other areas of my life.

When setting goals I focus on celebrating my small wins...

Creating long term goals is important but it's important to remember that the actions that you take compound into achieving a result. This is why celebrating small wins is essential to building confidence in your goals and dreams. Nothing happens overnight, so celebrating small wins enable you to appreciate the work that you've put towards achieving your goal.

Don't allow destination addiction to stop you from finding joy in your current life. Happiness is right where you are, today.

Imposter syndrome is a natural part of the journey to building confidence...

With leaving Ethiopia to the US at 10 years old and now living in my dream location in London, England several years later, a lot has changed in my life. Through all of these changes, there have been moments where I've dealt with imposter syndrome and feeling like I don't deserve the things that I've achieved.

I've since discovered that this sense of imposter syndrome is so common in women, especially because of our tendency to overanalyse and question ourselves. Reminding myself of my self worth and learning to be okay with being vulnerable, has helped me to overcome this. Sometimes imposter syndrome is rooted in lack of knowledge. When I realise that I don't know how to do something whether it's at work or in my personal life, I seek help from people that I trust.

Breaking down your goals is the secret to making them more attainable...

"Dream big start small" is a motto that I live by and for me this means having the lavish and large goals, whilst learning how to prioritise what I can do today. A goal of 10 years can't be achieved in 1 day. Dream big start small is all about breaking down your goals which in turn increases your confidence, as your goals become more attainable.

I've learned to centre my goals and dreams around myself and not other people's opinions...

Build your goals with the decision to be indifferent towards other people's opinions. It takes time but you need to learn how to build this muscle, because people will always have something to say no matter what.

Don't live your life with the purpose of changing other people's opinions. As long as your dream life is focused on you and improving yourself emotionally, physically and spiritually, you don't owe it to anyone to live in a way that pleases them.


Written by Sarah B.

Creator of Effortlessly Sarah


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