As the year 2022 is gradually coming to a close, this is the perfect time to begin to reflect on how the year has gone and the lessons that we've learned. So much of the last few years had been overshadowed by the pandemic, and since the world has opened up again it can become easy to forget to take account of the positive things that we have learned and experienced. In todays blog post, I'll be sharing some important lessons that life has taught me over the last year.
Facing adversity gives us the opportunity to be vulnerable.
Earlier this year I took a trip to the South of France, a place I'd been to countless times before, but unbeknownst to me this trip would change my life in more ways than I'd imagine. I was robbed. Many personal and valuable items were taken from me within moments, and whilst I'd rather keep this a distant memory, I realise that there are numerous lessons I've learned because of it.
At first, I found it difficult to share what had happened with my friends and loved ones. Being open about it would require me to rehash the events and the trauma all over again. I initially did not want to admit that it deeply affected me. When negative things happen to us we often internalise what has happened and sometimes blame ourselves. Keeping it to myself was my way of processing the incident. As I gradually opened up with the people around me, I was reminded that adversity gives us the opportunity to be vulnerable.
In vulnerability there is healing...
Not everyone deserves our vulnerability or openness, but when you have trusted friends and family, being open with them brings so much healing.
Your fears are not facts.
With the current climate, many of us have experienced fear-mongering through the media and even from friends and family. All of the fear can act as fuel to distract us from what's happening. If we're not careful these seeds of fear produce more anxiety, doubts and worries and mentally we can create problems that do not actually exist.
I'm being reminded that our fears are not facts and despite what you think, you do have the power to take control over your thoughts and create a new narrative. Whether you choose to do this through prayer, reflection or meditation, there are numerous channels through which you can regain control.
Whenever you find yourself getting carried away by negative thoughts, remember - Your fears are NOT facts.
The quality of your friendships has a direct impact on your quality of life.
If you've been following me on Instagram for a while now, you will know that I love fashion and style - a nice handbag never hurt anyone right? Plus, these interests can form talking points with friends, but if you've found that you only have surface level friendships, something needs to change. Shallow friendships will eventually have a negative impact on your ability to form emotional depth.
Begin with seeing the world outside of just yourself...
This year, I became really intentional about pursuing deeper connections. I did this through networking and various events at my Church. For you, this might mean taking on a new hobby or learning more about the impact of current affairs on the wider world. Creating depth in relationships begins with seeing the world outside of just yourself. If you want to improve your quality of life, after reviewing your habits, review your friendships!
Saying "no" is a complete sentence and so is "I need time to think about this".
It is so easy to take on every opportunity that comes your way, but sometimes saying "no" is necessary for your mental wellbeing. Saying "yes" to too many possibilities can become a burden and without practicing discernment, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. When you're given an offer, in any area of your life, truly take a moment to think about how it's going to serve you in the fulfilment of your goals and plans. You don't have to say yes to everything that comes your way. You owe it to yourself to choose wisely! It's your life.
Seeking help doesn't make you weak.
If you're a career-oriented and driven woman, it can be very easy to fall into the trap of hyper-independence and self-sufficiency. Other people may even look at you and admire your intellect, success and achievements yet deep down inside you may be overwhelmed, stressed and overworked.
I want to remind you that you don't have to do life alone. Asking for help in any area of your life can make all of the difference. If this means hiring an assistant, personal coach, therapist or mentor - do it! Take some of that mental load off and receive guidance from those who are designed to make your life easier.
You don't have to do everything all at once, but making little adjustments can ease your burdens. After all, no man is an island. We all need someone to support and encourage us.
Give yourself the reassurance you desire.
Many of us go through life seeking reassurance from a job, romantic partner or family and friends. Deep down we want someone to acknowledge us and say "well done", yet very rarely do we give ourselves the thing we desire, especially on an emotional level. If we crave some chocolate, we don't hesitate to buy ourselves some. If we want that new trendy handbag, we don't think twice before pressing "place order", yet we don't do the same when it comes to our internal needs.
As women, we are particularly vulnerable to seeking external sources to validate our existence. This is your reminder to give yourself the reassurance that you desire! How do you do this? Well, you start by affirming yourself and reminding yourself of your positive qualities. It's okay to tell yourself "well done" after completing a project or meeting a deadline. It's okay to look at yourself in the mirror and say "I look lovely".
One of the miracles of self-affirming is that as you turn it into a habit, it becomes a belief and suddenly the people around you will begin to notice your confidence and positive aura. Most importantly, you start to truly feel good about yourself, from the inside!
Prioritise your overall health.
The saying is so cliché but health truly is wealth. Over the last year, I've taken several social media breaks and cut out alcohol completely for an entire month. The amount of energy and mental clarity that I came away with, was like no other! For so long we were taught that exercising and eating well was about having a certain physique, but it's so much more than that. Things like fatigue, mind fog, aches and pains can be healed simply by nurturing the bodies we've been given.
Given that I work in an industry that is efficiency and output focused, I really need to be on my A game at all times. By exercising more, taking frequent breaks from social media and forming quality relationships, I've noticed an overall improvement in my performance.
Take action!
The door of 2022 is slowly coming to a close and a new horizon awaits us. In the meantime share with me below, what some of your key takeaways from this year has been.